Blessings and Battles

Good morning, everyone,

Here are some fun pics of Ava and us for you to see! :) Tamyra Parks took these for us last week. Thanks, Tamyra!

On a different note, this is a difficult blog for me to write, but I'm asking for your prayers and petitions on behalf of our newly formed family.

Throughout our journey this side of Heaven, blessings and battles often go hand and hand. Sometimes, we are equipped by the Lord to stand our ground and fight for what is right or we're instructed to be still and silent and wait. The two adoption journeys we're pursuing are unfolding to be examples of these two truths. One is domestic; one is international; both are a part of our living and breathing and hoping and trusting as we've prayed countless times for God to expand our family. Both children, though one is now known and one is not, are deep within our hearts. One is named Ava Faith, and the other, across the ocean, is Maia Grace.

My heart is full of wonder still at this little life that is in our home, and I am so grateful for God's surprise gift to us in the midst of our over two-year waiting for Maia Grace. We were content to only wait for Maia, and as we waited, God met me at a bakery and instructed me and Ben to GO to Atlanta and adopt a baby. We honestly walked through doors as they opened to bring Ava Faith into our home this summer. It was shaky and unsure, and at times, difficult, but I felt and witnessed God's guiding hand as every part of the journey unfolded and was ultimately out of our control- A blessing as unexpected as snowfall in April.

However, a new battle is beginning to bring Maia Grace home, one in which we believe that we're called to stand up and fight for. I want to let you know that we still need heavy prayer cover for Maia. As recently as yesterday, we ran into some very unexpected obstacles and opposition from our international agency because of our domestic adoption that I can't elaborate on here and that seem insurmountable and honestly scary. I know that those who wait on the Lord will not be ashamed, and that He remains faithful to the promise He gave me years ago of bringing her home. He has confirmed Maia's coming to my heart over and over again, and I know that what the Lord has purposed, He will do. It is the Lord who brings families together.

On the heels of this great and unexpected blessing of Ava, a battle is ensuing to bring Maia home. Am I surprised? Yes and No. Yes, in that I didn't think we would face some of what we're facing, especially from our agency, but no, in that I know the enemy is still out there seeking to steal and destroy. It is him and the powers of darkness that we're truly fighting.

Ben and I are about to engage in a difficult and very unexpected trial to try to bring Maia home. I know God will equip us and help us in our time of need. I also know that it is the Lord who fights for us and for Maia. I know with absolute certainty that Maia was meant to be part of our family.

Again, please pray for us as we move forward this year to bring our other daughter home- a little girl who has been growing in our hearts for 29 months, a little girl who maybe hasn't been born yet across the ocean, but one that I would go to the ends of the Earth to find and bring home.

God holds this child and is watching this new conflict unfold. He's not surprised. God is so many things - tender and compassionate but also a warrior and a mighty King. We also have a Helper in the Holy Spirit, who intercedes for us when we don't know how to pray. I know He is interceding for us to my King about the very recent difficulty that we're running into. I believe it is still the enemy's (Satan) desire to thwart plans to bring Maia home. I also believe that it is not flesh and blood that we're fighting against but principalities and princes of darkness that are seeking to upset plans to bring her into our family. He has already lost the battle, though, because "the Lord will contend with those who contend with you." Isaiah 49: 25 Thanks, Kathy! Perfect timing...

My specific prayer today is that Ben and I would be equipped by the Lord to move forward wisely as we fight a very beaurocratic red-tape process. Very high emotions are involved. We will fight for Maia, but it's not going to be easy. Honestly, me feeling like a momma warrior is mixed with me shaking in my boots right now. This is a very scary time. She's our daughter, and, again, I will fight for her to the end, and I know Ben and I won't fight alone. The Lord's hand is mighty to save, and He loves the orphan and knows Maia's name.

We need the Lord's strength to do this. We're joyfully tired right now because we have a new baby, and in human terms, I feel that I lack the strength to fight, so I'm praying for supernatural help and strength to enter into this.

I'm putting on my armor today. "Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace. Above all, taking the shield of FAITH with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying always will all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints." Ephesians 6 :14-20

My Deliverer is coming... My Deliverer is standing by... That's the second song on my playlist now. I'm reminded of it's truth from Rich Mullins.

Psalm 40:17 "But I am poor and needy; Yet the Lord thinks upon me. You are my help and my deliverer; Do not delay, O my God."

Father, please help us. I stand on Your promises to bring our little girl, Maia Grace, home. I remember and recount all that you've shown me on this journey to her. We are your humble servants and the advocates for a little girl yet unknown to us but so known to You.

Love and peace to everyone. I'll keep posting new pictures and fun times with Miss Ava and keep everyone updated on the status of Maia. Our story to her can be found at www.journeytomaia.com.

A Glimpse of Miss Ava Faith...

Please pause the playlist music...



This video is for those of you who haven't had a chance to meet Ava in person yet! We'd love to try to upload videos for you as she's growing and changing.

It's foggy this morning, Saki's here with me at the computer, and I'm thinking about that coffee. These late night feedings are making me have crazy dreams I think. Last night, Ben scalped an Indian for some reason and then the whole tribe was coming into town to find him. But have no fear, we found an escape route out of the city riding in a shopping cart, AND we just happened to pick up Michael Douglas along the way. What??

I'm going to try to have my quiet time with the Lord this morning to focus on some truth! I think I need some coffee, first, though!

So glad we were able to help Michael Douglas out...

I'll post Ava's one month photos and some from the photo shoot Tamyra Parks did the other night soon! Have a great day! Cindy, I hope you're doing well! I miss you!! Ava loves her snuggly blanket, and Mommmy loves it, too...

Daddy's Girl

When Ben gets home from work, he looks forward to having some Daddy time. Of course, our cat, Saki, is also used to having some "Daddy" time. She's finally come to terms that there's another girl in Daddy's life now, but she doesn't like it one bit.

Well, I'm going to have some coffee. Suddenly, I need something to help me wake up in the mornings!

I hope everyone has a terrific day. Father, thank you for this day- whatever it holds, may I say, "It is well."

The Locket

I can't remember the exact year I got this necklace, but I remember the moment well. My Mom and I were shopping at West Town at the old Proffitt's Department store, which I really miss by the way. They had awesome sales and it was a local kind of place, but I digress... We were there just looking around at the jewelry, and this necklace caught my eye as I was spinning the circular rack. I thought it was so beautiful, and Mom bought it for me that day for a time in the future. We both smiled at the thought of there one day being a baby in my arms.

Much time would go by before our family would start, but I would wear this necklace around town and out and about as a hope of a family to come. I would always think of Maia Grace when I would put it on, never really knowing when she would arrive, but I had that promise in my heart.

When we went to get pictures made by Tamyra Parks the other night, I brought it along, thinking I'd like to take a picture of Ava with it. As I held it, the waiting came back for a moment and then vanished in a flash (literally!) This picture is a precious one to me for all that it represents - the waiting, the wanting, the aching, the promise and the hope all wrapped up together.

Well, I hear Ava waking up... I'll post some pictures of Daddy and Ava time tomorrow sometime hopefully.

Ants in the Kitchen...

Here's Ava at five weeks today! The beautiful blankets behind her were made by Sandy and Cindy Goodson - my sewing heroes! :) Thank you, Cindy and Sandy!



Here's Ava and her cool background shot by the diaper cake we had at our neighborhood shower last Saturday. We had a great time! The pink blanket was knitted by my French neighbor, yet another sewing hero of mine! Thank you, Huguette!




I'm a little behind on my blogging! It seems like every time I try to come in here and write something meaningful, I get distracted - which is a good thing, because it's usually Miss Ava that's doing the distracting! :) So, we'll see how I do today.

Being the amateur photographer I am, I decided to try to set up some background shots today for her five weeks old pictures. A great friend of ours is coming by tonight to do some professional (knows what she's doing) shots, but this is my stab at photo creativity! So many people have talked about her big pink bow, and you'll see that she wearing it in these photos.

Ava is five weeks old today, and Ben and I are settling in to more of a routine. She's now 10lbs and is sleeping much better at night, which means that I'm a little more coherent during the day!

Every day proves to be different either in the way she's growing or how I'm continuing to grow. Lately, I'm found myself nesting even more than I did this summer, wanting everything to have a place and there to be order! I realized that, ugh, perfection was rearing its ugly head this week, and I had to let go of that once again! There are still ants coming in my windowsill in the kitchen for the bizillionth time, Bear still doesn't have his flea meds, the laundry is greeting people at the door, the thank you notes are piling up, and I think there's a formula stain trail on the nursery floor and we're out of toothpaste.

Ah, to sit back and just enjoy the moment. That is what I'm trying to do today. I made some iced tea and visited with Marna, a friend of mine who came by to visit. Sweet time, sweet friend, sweet tea.

The ants are still marching... pesky little sugar ants...

There's a million things I could be doing with my time right now, but I wanted to continue the blog I started in hopes that it will continue to encourage people I know and don't know!

As I thought about how that hole in my heart had been filled by Ava and how suddenly I was strugging with new things, I was reminded ONCE AGAIN, that the things of this world can never completely satisfy. I was striving in vain this week to create a perfect home and get a scrapbook started and get a keepsake box in order, and, and, and.... fight the ants in the kitchen!

"In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength." Isaiah 30:15.

Well, I know that verse, and I found myself thinking about it today somewhere between washing bottles, putting Ava down for a nap and eating tuna.

I still need God. He has ended my struggle, and life is now in the next phase, and I still need him every moment of every day. I want to return today and rest and find strength in Him and let go of my wordly perfection efforts.

Anybody else out there struggle with trying to be perfect?

Honestly, that's an ongoing battle for me, and I am going to try to take off the perfection hat today, and the battle the ants helmet, and just enjoy Ava and the 70 degree weather.

Ahh.. that's better.

A Baby, a Cat, a Panda, a Ladybug and a Doll.

Hi, everybody!

I'm now four weeks old! Boy, I'm changing a lot already, and I'm starting to coo and smile and study faces and some toys. My favorite toy right now is a caterpillar with a big smile on his face. Mommy keeps setting up goofy pictures of me with Saki, our cat, a doll, a panda and a ladybug. Good grief. I just want to sleep! I went to the pediatrician yesterday and had a big time. They did all kinds of things and flipped me over and checked me out. They said I'm very healthy. Here are my measurements!

Weight: 10 lbs 8.6 oz (Mommy thought that car seat was getting a bit heavier!)
Length: 22 in
Head circumference: 37 cm

All is well today on this fall day. The breeze feels great in my full head of hair, and I like to look around outside and listen to the chipping sparrows that have moved into our front yard. Our dog, Bear, can be a little loud at times, but I'm getting used to him, too.

Mommy just stares at me a lot, especially in the wee small hours of the morning. Sometimes, she gets a tear or two in her eyes thinking about how I came to be her little girl. Sometimes, it's after she's been to the mailbox and sometimes, it's at 2:00 in the morning when nothing much is going on short of watching me eat and sleep.

I already feel so loved by so many people. I hope to send out thank you notes, soon! I have to have Mommy's help for that, though! Poor thing. She's still trying to do all that laundry upstairs!!

I hope you enjoy my pictures. I tried my best to hold my head up for these crazy pictures Mommy took. I'm waiting for my little sister Maia, and I know we'll have many adventures together. Mommy tells me that Maia and I will have a special bond. I wonder what she'll look like and how much younger than me she'll be. Likely, I'll get to be the big sis.

My one month old birthday is coming up September 21st. Whoah! I can't believe how quickly time has gone by! One minute, I'm in that plastic box at the hospital, and the next minute, I'm with the cat on the couch. A lot has already happened in my short little life.

I've been out to eat Italian and Mexican, and Mommy took me to Hobby Lobby this week and to Mimi and Papa's house to play while she and Daddy went on a burger date! Next week, I'll get to go to the mountains for a family picnic and sit by the river. Someday, Mommy and Daddy say they are going to show me how to catch crawdads and skip rocks. Mommy says I'll tube down the river someday, too. That was her favorite thing in the world to do when she was younger.

I'll see you again, soon, as I'm sure Mommy will post more pictures of me doing goofy things again! Oh, brother.

With Open Arms

These are pictures of Miss Ava at three weeks. :) She's already changing so much!







PAUSE THE PLAYLIST MUSIC TO HEAR THE VIDEO

With Open Arms...

I thought long and hard about what I wanted the title of this blog to be. I wanted it to be something that captured the place where I found myself this summer when I started journaling. I wanted it to capture traveling the road of domestic adoption and contining to wait on an international one. This blog is about far more than adoption though. It's about finding God in the waiting in my life and in the everyday ups and downs.

I haven't always had open arms to whatever the Lord had for me. Often, I've had my own plans and my own course set -goals, visions, hopes, dreams that I hoped would just happen to line up with God's purpose for my life and what He had for me. Many times, I've come kicking and screaming and saying, "Wait, Lord, but I thought we'd do it this way." I'm learning that HIS way is always better.

Complete surrender - that could have been another title for this blog. Sometime along the way, not quickly or at the onset of the journey to children, but somewhere along the way, I FINALLY came to end of myself and my wishes and how I thought the plan should unfold. I began to pray, "Lord, give me the desires of Your heart. Make my desires match Yours." He has been faithful to do that over time.

Domestic adoption is a road that I have peered down but deliberately not traveled because of fear and uncertainty. Anybody familiar with those two terms? I thought it would be too difficult, and I wanted something that was a sure thing, especially after the heartache of the last eight years and the ups and downs and disappointments of countless procedures and miscarriages. I'm learning that I never know what is a "sure" thing, but I did learn in this adoption that when I completely surrender, and open my arms and walk forward, that God WILL lead, and He will come in His timing to show me His plan for my life. Better still, He will make the desires of my heart line up with His. He has been patient with my kicking and screaming and questioning and doubting. He's been patient with my waywardness and wanderings. He knows I'm dust.

There are some of you reading this blog that are on a similar journey to start a family, and I want to say to you, "hold on." There is a light at the end of this tunnel, and it's coming, though it may not unfold exactly like the way you envisioned. It's coming and will be the perfect plan and will be your special story.

I wanted to include this video on this post, because I stumbled on it after a dear friend pointed out that Mark Schultz is adopted. You may not know this guy, but He's a great Christian singer who has traveled the journey of being adopted, and He shares His story.

I am forever grateful to Ava's birthmom who made the unselfish choice to place Ava with our family. She's a part of the great romance and story of our lives that God has been weaving together through the ups and downs. I can never express my gratitude enough to her. She'll always hold a very special place in our hearts. I would do this all again - maybe without so much kicking and screaming and insisting on my own way - but I would go through the valley again to find Ava and Maia on the other side.

Still waiting on Miss Maia, but I know she's coming...

Love everyone,

Emily