It Is Well

*** UPDATE! It is WELL! We received very good news this afternoon at about 12:00 p.m. We're told that Sabrina's doctor's appointment went very well this morning. The test for gestational diabetes came back negative, and a sonogram revealed that the baby's heartbeat is very strong. She is not dilated at all at this point, and the baby is in the correct position for delivery. She's right at about 36 weeks, and her due date is still August 24th. She was scheduled to have an ultrasound today, but the ultrasonographer was sick, so she'll go in for one next Tuesday to find out if it's a boy or a girl. ***

What if I woke up every morning and said, "Whatever this day holds, it is well."

I've been pondering that lately. A couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of an old message about a woman I had forgotten in the Old Testament. She isn't named, other than to say that she is the Shunammite woman. Elisha, a prophet of the Lord, was a frequent passerby in her village of Shunem. She knew that he was a man of God and prepared food for him and made a small upper room on the wall, putting a bed, table, chair and lampstand there for him. She showed hospitality to Elisha, such that he inquired what he could do for her.

It happened that she did not have children, and so Elisha told her that "about this time next year you shall embrace a son," and she did.

After going out to meet his father and the reapers in the fields, the little boy died of an ailment. Almost immediately, she left her house to "run to the man of God." It was neither the New Moon nor the Sabbath when most people sought the wisdom of the Lord through the prophets, but she went anyway on just an ordinary day and remarked to her husband, "It is well."

How many times in my distress or my grief do I turn to other sources of relief and fret and worry before I go to the Lord? I must tell you, many. My walk with Jesus has been full of wanderings and fears of this world, the temporal, along this journey. I hear "what if this" and "what if that" from the enemy as he tries to discourage my relationship with my Savior. How many times have I become an emotional heap and wallowed in my grief and questions instead of seeking a word from the Lord? Again, the answer would be many.

This recorded story of this woman of old reminds me to run to my Jesus first when I'm grieving and questioning. I'm reflecting on how many times I've sought peace from the world first and peace from Him second.

"It is well." Either way this adoption goes, I want to say, "It is well." My love for the Lord and His faithfulness to me is not dependent on my circumstances. I know that full well. The world is broken, not my relationship with my Heavenly Father. He has good planned for me and in the midst of my ugliness and my wanderings, He's been there.

He hasn't discarded me because I'm not worthy.

He is worthy.

He's not abandoned me because of my unfaithfulness.

He is faithful.

He's not forgotten this wayward daughter because I've forgotten to seek Him first.

He pursues me in the wilderness and lights my way, and He delights in me.

I want to remember the Shunammite woman and how she went back to the Elisha, the man of God, for a word from the Lord, how she ran to him seeking an answer. The rest of this wonderful recorded story can be found in 2 Kings 4:8-37.

This morning, I want to "saddle one of the donkeys and run to the man of God", who is Jesus, before the events of this day unfold.

Sabrina, our birthmother, has an appointment at 10:30 this morning. Likely, she will find out if she has gestational diabetes from the bloodwork drawn last week and she will supposedly have an ultrasound to check on the baby. She said she'll call me today with some news. News. A four letter word that can hold so much meaning.

Whatever she tells me, I want to say deep in my heart, "It is well." The Lord is with me, and He knows this unborn child, and He's aware of my human understanding and fear. He remembers that I'm dust. Help me be faithful today, Lord, and remind me of Your great love for me as I continue to travel and seek you.

It is well.

Get your free online pregnancy calendar from WhatToExpect.com

Facing the Giants and Preparing for Rain!

Father, today, the distance seems great - the finish line is obscured. I'm weak; my sandals are dirty and worn from walking this road. There are tears as my emotions come bubbling to the surface. I want to take a short-cut, but the way is clear I know- I have to keep walking straight ahead through the middle of all this pain and uncertainty to what it is You have for me. I can't see Lord. I can't see. I'm frightened even though You tell me not to fear. I'm anxious even though You tell me not to be anxious or dismayed, that you're with me wherever I go. The wind and waves are fierce, today, Lord. Take me by the hand, raise my sinking feet out of the water, help me look at You only and remind that nothing is impossible with you.

Today: Refiling with USCIS because our China paperwork is expiring for a second time, Atlanta delivery logistics which are many, Interstate councils which have to approve us to leave the state of GA after the baby is born, home study revision because there's a glitch, TN attorney counsel via e-mail and phone, birthmother doctor visits to determine if she has gestational diabetes and to find out why she's having pain in her lower abdomen, Medicaid coverage lapse. I had no idea what yesterday would hold, and it held much. I was weary by the end of the day, my head was spinning, and I was clinging to my faith, a faith that I believe with all my heart is being sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see.

I found this clip at 10:00 last night as I needed a reminder that nothing is impossible with God. Nothing. May you be blessed by watching it knowing that faith really is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we can not see. When we're weak, He's strong. We can lean on His understanding, not our own. He can do anything with our limitations. God, I'm at my limits with all of this for what seems like the hundredth time. Please help me to unload the burden of yesterday as I continue to walk this road toward the finish line. Help me to be faithful. I am Yours.

Strange Happenings

The human brain is very capable of holding lots of information, right? We form new pathways constantly, and our brain is in constant action helping us navigate moment to moment in any given day.

I think something strange is happening in my brain because it's trying to process SO much. I found myself going through my daily routine of getting ready the other day and realized I washed my hair with conditioner. Different bottle entirely! Then, I got ready to walk out the door to a lunch meeting, and I had on two different flip flops. Different colors and one was flat and one was a wedge.

Tonight, I started to make my call lists to friends and family, and that's when I realized something was really wrong! I am great with phone number memorization - always have been. I still know my fourth grade boyfriend's number. I'm sure he doesn't live there anymore...:) I found myself completely at a loss to remember numbers. My heart was racing and I had butterflies, and quite frankly, I felt this wave of nausea. I think it's starting to hit me that we're REALLY going to get a call about a baby SOON! I'm buying things like onesies and feathering my nest. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm told this is normal, but I keep waiting to get in the wrong vehicle or something. If you see me wandering in a parking lot somewhere, please come and help me.

So, I made my call lists and have asked a dear friend of mine to blog for us when we get the call. I'd do it, but I probably won't remember my own blog site and how to get on it! So, if you're following this crazy journey of faith that we're on and watching to see what the Lord does, stay tuned! We'll be posting pictures as soon as we can so you can see the baby and us, shell-shocked I'm sure.

By the way, have any of you ever gone to a fire station, like all the books tell you to do, to check your car seat base installation? Well, off I went today feeling proud of myself and thinking it was pretty cool to talk to real fireman about my newly installed carseat. In case you're about to go, check first. The station where I went is not trained to check your base. I was told to go the police station. I had this vision of just pulling into the parking lot and asking the first officer I saw to have a look. Nope. Vision not correct. I had to go to the glass window desk, and the lady said I needed an appointment and that an officer would be calling me. Wow. A check my carseat base appointment. I haven't gotten the call yet. I'm sure it's fine. Maybe I'm going overboard??

I'm definitely trying to keep my sense of humor in the midst of this insanity! Thanks for reading my journal. I truly hope it lifts your spirits, blesses you, and lets you know that you're not alone. I can see glimpses of light at the end of this dark and often lonely tunnel. I'm ready to leave that tunnel far behind, but I know I'll remember it, and remember God's faithfulness when I enter other tunnels in my life. So, here's to tunnels and how they shape us, and here's to the light that bathes us when it's God timing to bring us out! If you've not read the Heavenly Man, seek it out. I promise it will bless your socks off! Here's to Brother Yun who believed in coming out of the tunnel in God and only God's timing - one of the greatest stories of faith I've ever read and one I often recall when I'm somewhere in the tunnel camping out. :)

Five Weeks and Preparing!

Hi, everyone,

I wanted to give a quick update on where things stand right now and where we are in this waiting process!

We're about five weeks away from the due date which is 8/24/08.

I spoke with Sabrina, the birthmother, for about an hour last week, and we had a great conversation. I have conversations on the phone a lot with family and friends, but this conversation feels so entirely different. I find myself hanging on every word she says, trying to memorize it so I can tell Ben, and then just process the weight of it. In thirty minutes, we talked about everything from how she's feeling, to what she needs to buy for the hospital, to how she wants to hand us the baby, to her iron and calcium pills and high blood sugar. It still feels strange to be talking to the woman who is carrying our future child. She's conversive and easy to talk to, and normally, I consider myself pretty conversive and easy to talk to, but I find myself stuttering and stammering during these phone calls because I'm SO emotional. I try to push down the emotions and just think about what she's saying and what we're doing, but they come bubbling to the surface and I have to take a lot of pauses during our talks. Here's an example of bubbling emotions...

At one point in the conversation, she asked me again the name we have picked out for a girl. I told her Ava Faith, and we spelled it together on the phone. Then, out of the blue, she asked me if I had a boy's name picked out. Now, this is where I get VERY emotional. For a long time now, I've had a vision of a little boy in our family, and Ben and I have had the name Noah picked out for years. I carry that little wish around in my heart all the time and have asked the Lord for a son someday to name Noah. I asked her why, and she proceeded to tell me that really, the last ultrasound she had was at five months, and they're just not real sure it's a girl. This is an example of the complete unknowns and crazy communication of this process. We've been told in one way or another through this process that it's a girl. She always talks as if it's a girl. So... it may be a boy! There are no more ultrasounds, and we're waiting for delivery to find out for sure. We're excited either way!

Here's what we've been up to lately...

* Having long talks in the dark at night about how we're both feeling at any given moment and how we think things will go at the hospital

* Packing our hospital bag - I think I have everything together for the baby! Now, if we can just get US together.

* Picking up my cell phone multiple times a day to make sure the ringer is on loud and the battery is charged. This is the number they'll call when she goes into labor.

* Making multiple trips to Wal-mart, Target, Baby Depot, Babies-R-Us and Crib and Carriage to buy this and that.

* Sterilizing bottles and pacifiers

* Priming and painting white shelves for the nursery

*Searching for our carseat/stroller travel system. We're looking for Chicco's Adventure system! We've decided to go ahead an buy a one seat stroller for now and a two-seater when Maia comes!

*Making pediatrician phone calls to find out how to proceed once we bring the baby home and what medical coverage she'll be under until our adoption day.

*Communicating with our attorney and the one in Atlanta about various logistics and paperwork.

* Refiling to USCIS in Memphis for our extended approval to bring Maia home from China in 2009

* Getting directions to the hospital.

* Making lists of who to call

* Blogging to keep everyone in the loop

Well, I'm off to continue preparing today! Next, I'm going to sit down with my Streams in the Desert book and seek a refreshing from the Lord. My spirit feels heavy right now with all of this going on. I trust Him no matter how I'm feeling, which is changing moment to moment! My relationship with the Lord is not about how good and stable I am - it's about how good and stable HE is! Whew! That'a relief!

Refreshment

Emily,

This is an excerpt from yesterday's posting for Katherine Arnold Wolf. It is SO true!!! : ) Love you!! Kristie


"My heart resonates with the Psalmist when he declares, 'I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.' (Psalm 27:13)

This verse is one that is special to my heart, and I have it posted at the top of "Our Story" on our journey to Maia site. I was reminded of its truth today! Thank you, Kristie, for reminding me of that!

Don't Quit

Be sure to pause the music on the playlist before you watch this. I first saw this film, Facing the Giants, about two or three years ago, and it affected me deeply. This particular scene was imprinted on my heart, and I remember it when times get tough, and I grow weary and feel like I'm out of strength. I was reminded of it today on my drive home with a backseat full of baby stuff! As this journey to start a family is getting closer to the end, I'm reflecting a lot on the last eight years and how God has transformed my heart and urged me to keep going when I had no strength left.

I took a journey today I've taken before. It was a simple journey that I'm sure thousands of people have made this week. I took a list of "must have" baby items to Babies-R-Us, chose a buggy and began to shop.

I've been in that store before on this journey to the children God has for us when I've been pregnant, eager to buy a few little things. I still bear the wounds of losing three children to miscarriage, and it's never easy to go in that store. As an adoptive Mom, it's not obvious to the world who I'm shopping for because adoption isn't so visible. Today, when I got to the register, I was asked once more by a sweet lady if the items I was purchasing were off of the gift registry. For what seems like the millionth time, I just smiled and stated that they were for me and that I was adopting. We had the nicest conversation, but old wounds are fresh in times like those, and I find myself in a line of pregnant women longing to share my story of adoption and that I'm also expecting and am excited. It's not visible, and I long for people to ask me when I'm due and if it's a boy or girl. A scripture verse that has been strong for me when I feel upset and frustrated in times like these is the one about having quiet confidence, knowing that it's never about what the world thinks or perceives. It's about the purpose God has for me and what He's doing in my life matters. It's not about my glory or what I deserve or what's fair.

Honestly, there have been many times on this journey when I've felt like giving up emotionally. The loads have seemed unbelievably heavy and the pain unreal at times. I've grown faint countless times, and my heart has burned with ache and grief and confusion. If you had asked me in 2000, when this journey began, if I thought it would be 2008 before we'd have children, I would have said no way. I just couldn't imagine that it would be that long, but year after year has passed without the promise of children being fulfilled. There have been many times that I wanted to stop at the 20 or the 50 yard line and yell, "Enough!," but I've heard Him calling me on, telling me not to quit and not to grow weary and discouraged, because He's with me.

So, here I am today at Babies-R-Us, buying burp cloths and such, and I smile as I shop, because even though I can't see the end zone, I feel that it's nearer than it ever has been. This is all for His glory- none of it is for my own. I'm broken and a mess, and I NEVER have it all together. If you're reading this, please know that He is faithful to put the broken pieces back together again. He's done that with me, and there have been a million pieces to put back together again. I am experiencing the "streams in the desert," and the "treasures of darkness" the Bible talks about, even in the midst of the suffering and the unknown ahead of me.

This is my story, but I know you have one, too. We all do. This world we live in is broken, and there's incredible pain, but dear friend, God is good, and He is faithful. He will never leave those broken pieces on the ground, but He'll turn them into something beautiful and refined for His glory. I'm still on that journey of being refined every day. I can tell you that He has brought me a LONG way since the beginning of this struggle. I'm holding onto the fact that He is good, and He's watching me and bringing me out into that spacious place that I've longed for year after year where I can finally rest.

I've waited a long time to buy something as simple as a burp cloth, and today, I did, casting reservations aside and moving forward with faith that these burp cloths will be needed and used very soon.

Ready, Set, Stay

This afternoon, I packed my bags, made Ben dinner, said goodbye to our dog, gave myself a pep-talk and headed for Atlanta to go to our birthmother's OBGYN appointment. Ben drove me to a neighborhood nearby where I was meeting my ride down to Georgia. When we got there, we were told that all flights outbound to Tennessee tomorrow afternoon were full because of some cancelled flights tonight due to thunderstorms. Likely, Sabrina will just be getting bloodwork done for her glucose test tomorrow, too. So... we got back in the truck, drove the five minutes back to the house and carried my bags up the steps and into the house. I'm at home tonight eating dinner with Ben and working in the yard. The sunset was beautiful, and I'm conscious of resting tonight, knowing that a trip down to Atlanta is in the forecast.

We'll wait for the next doctor's appointment coming up in two weeks time. In the meantime, life will go on, and I'm sure there will be more drama. Thanks for checking in on us! We'll keep you posted on our great adventure...

Walking On...

We got word this morning that the attorney appointment went very well. Both of the birthparents were there, and both expressed a desire to move forward with the adoption plan. So... it's looking like this may really happen!!! Ben and I were able to exhale this morning - our first of many exhales to come I hope. I was told this morning to have our hospital bag packed just in case she delivers early. As far as we know, her due date is still August 24th, but Ben and I are planning to be ready if we get the call sooner than expected. I'm starting to make my checklists and am having fun. It's still pretty surreal to both of us, but we're putting one foot in front of the other and just walking on through open doors. I still can't see, but as this journey continues, I'm learning every day that I don't have to...

The next big day is this Monday when I go to the OBGYN with Sabrina, the birthmother, in Atlanta. We're not sure how much we can learn that day, but I'm going to ask some questions and most of all, show my support of Sabrina. I think I may get to meet the birthfather for the first time, too.

Please remember us in your prayers as this month progresses. We have to be ready for anything, and we're leaning NOT on our own control and understanding, which is hard for me, as I like to know what's happening! More updates to come... Thank you so much for praying!! We can feel it!

Milestone

Today is Friday, the end of what became a long and turbulent emotional week for us. After much discussion as a couple, phone calls, text messaging, e-mailing to Atlanta and asking the Lord for guidance, we've decided to move forward with the Atlanta attorney appointment today. At 3:00, the attorney will meet with the birthparents at the same time to go over legal paperwork and how this process will proceed in the month to come. We're praying that God will work out the details of today and that they'll both be there. Most of all, I'm praying simply for peace for all of us involved in trying to do what's best for this little life. I'll blog as soon as I know something about how it went today. Resting today and trusting...

A Momma Cow Kind of Day

Well, today has been quite the day. I have a goal of trying to find some "me" time in every day, even if's only for a few minutes, to settle my mind, quiet my heart and hear from God. Some days I do better at this than other days, because there's always a hundred distractions... like today. I woke up and began my day by gently coaxing a momma cow back into a fenced pasture area at my dad's farm. Daddy was out of town, so Ben and I came to the rescue and worked side by side in the drizzle. After a few minutes of me trying to talk "cow" to her, she crossed the road, went behind the truck and followed me right in a little path in the fence made for people to walk through. She then joined the other bulls, heifers and her baby calf. Quite an accomplishment for that early in the morning! I just never know what my day will hold.

On the drive home, I began what is the normal daily drama of domestic and international adoption. I lost count of e-mails and phone calls to attorneys, the third party in Atlanta we're working through and to Sabrina, the precious birthmother who is making the difficult decision to give her baby to us. My head is spinning this week on who I've told what to, and what decisions we've made, and what to do next.

Yesterday, I found/made time to sit down and let the Lord speak to me and remind of how big He is. This is what He told me yesterday.

From Psalm 56:8 - "You number my wanderings(which, by the way, have been many this week) and put my tears in your bottle." I'm not sure how big this bottle is, but I think I might have a few in Heaven. :)

From Eph. 3:16 - I have power through His spirit in my inner being." It's a good thing, because my power is flickering on and off.

Deuteronomy 33:25 - "My strength will equal my days." I wondered about that lately as our quest to discover the children God has for us leaves me many days withouth strength. I worry I'll just plain run out. It's so good to know it will equal my days!

Exodus 15:12 - "The Lord IS my strength." Awesome! Meaning it's ok I don't have any.

2 Corinthians 3:5 - "My competence comes from the Lord." Boy, that's a relief! Thank, you, Lord for that reminder as I strive to do and say the perfect thing all of the time.

Finally, I remembered, "Be patient in tribulation, rejoicing in hope, continuing steadfastly in prayer." I'm trying Lord. I really am trying...

Be encouraged by these verses wherever you are today and whatever distractions have kept you from being still. ps- if you see any stray momma cows around, just sweet talk it, and hopefully it will follow you.

With love.

Hope As An Anchor

I snapped this shot a few nights ago as the sun was going down in the West behind the clouds. There was the most beautiful silver lining behind the clouds, and it reminded me of hope and a beautiful light at the end of this tunnel leading to the children God has for us.

Hope is what I'm clinging to today. Yesterday, we found out that the birthmother took a fall over July 4th weekend and had to go to the ER on Sunday night. We're being told via phone messages that the baby is fine, but that it was twisted and had to be repositioned in the womb. We're also told that the cord was wrapped loosely around the neck and are in the process of obtaining ER reports to take to an OBGYN appointment next week.

To be honest, my heart was already struggling with the unknowns of this, and my peace and courage took a nosedive yesterday. I felt angry, angry that just when I get my arms around the difficulty and uncertainty of this process, something else comes along to shake me. I poured out my heart to God about this as I walked outside, because I know He can handle my strong emotions, my questions, and my doubts. He remembers that I'm human, and I have limited understanding.

"With Hope," a Steven Curtis Chapman songnreminded me of hope being our anchor. I looked up that verse this morning, and I found these words to encourage my heart.

"For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself, saying, "Surely, blessing I will bless you, and multiplying, I will multiply you." And so after Abraham had patiently endured, he obtained the promise... we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil, where the forefunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever."

No matter what Satan tries to rob from me in the midst of the waiting, he can't rob me of my hope. Hope is my anchor, when the winds and the waves are beating against me. Yesterday, my spirit was fleeing to find my Rock and hide in the shelter of His wings. Today, I'm at home, sifting through my emotions and letting God walk along beside me and listen to my silent hurt and my questions and minister to my weariness.

Father, as your word says, speak comfort to me, cause me to sing, and lead me through this valley I'm in through the door of hope set before me.

Surrendering My Understanding

The journey is continuing this morning as I'm navigating two simultaneous adoptions that are COMPLETELY different. As many of you know, we're still "in the waiting" to adopt Maia Grace, a baby girl from China who will likely be 8-12 months old at the time of referral. Our paperwork log-in date for China is 4/28/06, and we're now in month 26 of waiting for her. When we began this process on June 9, 2005, we were told it would likely be a six to seven month wait. How that waiting has changed since then. Realistically, we expect to receive the matching referral sometime in the summer/fall of 2009, and we could not be more excited! We've waited for her for a very long time, and I simply can not imagine my emotions on that day!

Currently, we're walking through doors as they open to adopt an infant girl in Atlanta, GA due 8/24/08. This is the brand new, unexpected journey that began with a leap of faith this past May. After resigning my position as a sixth grade teacher because I thought we'd be in China in December of '07, I decided to work part-time at a local bakery here in town called Sweet Celebrations. After enjoying a few months of serving the public there, the owner's sister was in town from Atlanta, and we struck up a conversation about children, adoption and our long wait for our China referral. She had adopted a little girl domestically who is now eight. She told me about a 21-year old birthmother in Atlanta who wanted to make an adoption plan, and after much discussion, we decided to go for it. It was a giant leap of faith for us because we knew going into it, that it would likely not be an easy process and it may or may not work out. We didn't get a billboard either! China feels so comfortable, because I know Maia is coming home eventually. This is not so comfortable. I'm just trusting God to hold my hand as I step out of the boat onto the water. The winds and the waves are none of my concern. I just have to have faith and move forward toward Jesus.

God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, and I remember what He did for the Israelites when they were journeying in the wilderness and were frightened.

"So they took their journey from Succoth and camped in Etham at the edge of the wilderness. And the Lord went before them by day in a pillard of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light , so as to go by day and night. He did not take away the pillar of cloud by day or the pillar of fire by night from before the people." Exodus 14:13

The emotional side is usually what I write about, but I wanted to write about the logistics part which is woven throughout these processes. There are TWO crucial documents that have to be updated throughout our wait for a China referral. Our US approval document expires every 18 months, and our federal fingerprinting expires every 15 months. I've kept up with this over the last two years, and in order to renew this government approval, we have had to update our homestudy, fill out a new government application called an I-600A, gather new background checks, medicals, letters of employment and provide verification of financial status. The first time we had to do this, we were give one free extension by the US government, meaning we didn't have to pay the $500 something fee. We were thankful for this, and completed renewal of US approval last summer. Well, guess what? Our documents are about to expire AGAIN, and we don't qualify for another free extension and the fee has gone up - which brings me to the title of this blog- surrender.

I just found out a few days ago, that since new Hague (a goverment system that helps international adoption countries have a smooth process) regulations are in place, we are now required to fill out a new application for government approval. It's called an I-800A. In years past, we have filled out an I-600A which is two pages. This new I-800 A is 16 pages. Is it hard? No. Can I pick up a pen and fill it out? Yes. So, what's my problem? I don't know - I guess it's submission. At the top of the form, it says "Form I-800A, Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country." China is a Hague Convention country, and we're thankful for that as it has made the overall process smoother, but proving once again we'd be "suitable" is hard for me.

To be honest, there were tears this morning, as I watched the printer spit out page after page that I would need to fill out. As I moped around the kitchen, moaning and groaning in my spirit, I felt the Lord saying, "Surrender your understanding." Just fill it out. Don't let your focus be on that it's not fair and that we've done this three times. This is what I have to do, and God can give me peace to be content IN all circumstances. No complaining - just surrender to pay the necessary fees and complete the necessary paperwork.

So, I'm off to pick up my pen and decipher these crazy questions about pardon, amnesty, rehabilition decrees, other acts of clemency etc. I think I answer "NO" to that question, by the way. And for the umpteenth time, my name is!!!!

I remembered the song "On My Knees" in the kitchen when I was stewing about all of this. Whatever you're "stewing" about - I hope these songs about surrendering and falling on our knees in our helplessness brings you encouragement and strength. May you be blessed today...